How Social Media is Effecting Mom's Self Esteem

Being a woman and a mother I can write on this subject with clarity and speak for other mothers out there. Social media can provide an outlet for moms to connect to one another for support. However, there are many times when these outlets become harmful to our self esteem. Moms tend to feel threatened if someone says something that they don't agree with and many times there are people out there who think that they know the right way to handle everything and see other people's ways as wrong. These people have no problem voicing their opinion and not caring how it affects the person they are saying these words to. Mothers are constantly being criticized on how they are raising their children. Some moms choose to nurse their babies, some bottle feed. Some choose to use cloth diapers, some use disposables. Some co-sleep with their babies and some are head strong on putting babies to sleep in their own beds. Some home school and others send their kids to public or private schools.  None of these decisions make one mother better than another, it is purely a decision made by THAT mother for HER child. Yet, there are those who will tell others how wrong they are for not doing it the way that they choose! As moms, we should all support each other and our decisions on how to raise our young, not scrutinize and make each other feel like our way is the wrong way. Social media becomes a problem because a simple question seeking advice can get blown into a huge dispute because everyone in the conversation feels that they know best. Advice is one thing but making a mom feel inadequate about how she chooses to raise her children is a problem.



The other issue is that there are many sites such as Pinterest or certain blogs that are making women in general feel like they cannot accomplish what others can. Pinterest alone is scattered with millions of craft projects to do with your children, recipes, decorating and DIY projects. It is great that there is a place to look for ideas but it can also be quite overwhelming and make women feel like they are inadequate if they cannot do the many projects or cook recipes like those found on these sites. Blogs that are written by moms showing off their beautifully decorated, fancy homes with their well dressed children and everything just looks so perfect can leave other moms with a feeling of despair if they aren't able to provide such things for their families. I think that all moms seek approval and support not criticism. I do not believe that any mom deserves to feel inadequate and that she is wrong on how she chooses to raise her children or run her household.



 I also feel like there is a lot of pressure on both stay at home moms and moms whom work outside the home. On one hand, you have the stay at home mom whom is with her kids all day long with no breaks. She is the maid, chauffeur, cook, nurse, and more. She takes care of the kids all day while maintaining a house to the best of her ability yet gets ridiculed for "not working". What?! Raising kids is the most important and one of the hardest jobs in the world! Sadly, there are many who look at the stay at home mom as doing nothing all day and more sadly is that many of  these criticisms come from moms that work outside the home. The mom that works outside the home takes out her frustrations and jealousy on the stay at home moms because she has to work or maybe she chooses to work. The moms that work outside the home also get criticized by others for working too much and not spending enough time with her kids. I feel that no matter the situation, women are scrutinized way too much for our decisions and not supported nearly enough. Each family is different and has separate needs so it makes sense that not every family is alike. Social media can be hurtful to mom's feelings as the mom that has to work outside the home sees pictures of her friends at home or at the zoo or on a field trip with her kids, meanwhile she has to work. I also feel that moms that are at home all the time with her children go on social media for an outlet and for some adult interaction and can feel sad that they don't get to have lunch with co-workers, company holiday parties and some time alone without the kids. There is a lot of pressure on all of these sites to be perfect, raise the perfect kids, decorate a perfect house, cook perfect meals, etc and it can all become very depressing and overwhelming!

Why is this considered okay to say to another mom? It's not just on an ecard.  There are women that actually feel this way or have said this to another mom.



Body image is another problem that women struggle with. Seeing other moms posting pictures in bikinis or beautiful clothes with their hair, makeup and nails all done up can leave moms feeling upset especially if they have had a hard time losing their baby weight or weight in general. Women tend to compare themselves and feel saddened if their body doesn't look like another woman's body a month or two after their babies were born. Some moms may not have the time nor money to pamper herself and feels ugly if she doesn't look like a mom that's "put together" so to speak. Women are hard on themselves enough without the added pressure of social media today. Lets stand and support one another and stop the scrutiny!!! This picture below is a great example on how moms can view themselves as inadequate and struggle with their looks. Photos like these are all over the media portraying that there is no reason why other moms shouldn't look like this mom.